The Star Nation

I knew you before your were born

I didn’t know that you were in the Star Nation,

 with the ancestors. 

Or 

that we always choose our mothers.

A tall black man with golden brown nice warm skin

Stood before me

he was immaculate in his presentation.

He said Yes. I always wear a suit

Crisp white shirts

Occasional cufflinks.
A mustache that came and went with his whims.

He went to the east coast for 3 months.

He returned and we met again.

He proclaimed his love for me.

And I

accepted.

We didn’t know each other.

We just met.

We didn’t ask questions.

We just began moving forward.

You were close -

Born with much fanfare and love.

Hazel, Harriet and Mary, 

your great grandmother’s, 

held you.

inspected you.

simply loved you.

Harriet cradled you.

Ran her fingers over your face and cooed.

You were the brown she was looking for.

I am Anishinaabe and White.

Your father is Black.

In This country

It's all about skin color.

I raised you to be Black 

because I knew,  that is how people would see you.

I didn’t yet have a connection to my Native culture. 

You were 2 weeks old 

when you met your father

At the airport 

At the gate 

he held you close

Whispering words that I do not know.

Seemed like we stayed there

 for a long time.

I really wanted it to last.
But it couldn’t.

Alcohol and cocaine crept in 

robbing him of his sensibilities

You were 6 months old. 

His suits were long gone.

I knew it had to end so that we would be safe

He crashed into our apartment 

all drunk. Threatening to get custody of you

I screamed at him, picked you up, told him to leave.

He left.

My happy little baby returned from the Star Nation

---with much love, Momma