I'm dedicating this poem to my cousin Jennifer - our late night conversations about family have helped me fill in the gaps of my history and gave validity to my thoughts feelings.
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I've lived most of my life
free of history
The gap is so wide
Some things
Some things
May never make sense
Living my life free of history
Means living
Without intention
I’ve lived most of my life free of history
Today in my car
I’m driving back into my
history
Driving without fear
Without my history
The realization that my
car
Knows the way
Allows me to scan the horizon
Looking for the clues
To my past
A life
lived without history
The red dust looming on the horizon
Captures my imagination
With distant memories
Of the red dust
Permeating my skin
Feelings of home
Coming pouring into
My vision
Nearing the city
the knowing car
the knowing car
Stops at the top of a hill
I get out
A cold blast of air greets me
I race around the knowing car
I get out
A cold blast of air greets me
I race around the knowing car
Allowing the culture of coldness
To embrace me
I trust the knowing car
To care for me
With car windows
Pursed to be closed
They keep distant the beauty
Barred by the industry that
Defined my life
Barred by the industry that
Defined my life
Tucked in safe from the cold
The knowing car continues
Arriving at the shores Lake Superior
Arriving at the shores Lake Superior
The lake
That housed and fed my ancestors
I sit for a minute
Contemplating my life without history
As I open the door
Of the knowing car
Proof
that my life has history
Comes to me in the
In the split second before
My foot hits the ground
And sinks into the sand
The red dust
Descends from
the sky
Covers my body
Seeping deep down through every pore
Seeping deep down through every pore
Down to
The molecular level
I’ve lived my life without history
And now
I am home
I am home
The feeling of home and
destiny
Surround me
Leaving the knowing car
I wind my
way through the tall trees
Making my way to the shore
Stepping carefully
As my
Foot falls create crevices
Marking my way
Back into my history
With vision clear
Turning around
I see the proof in my footsteps
That my life has history
I reach the water line
The cold water laps at my feet
The movement of the water
Pulls the rocks over the sand
Creating the rhythm
Of my history
Carefully watching the water
Leave its mark
I am transfixed and transported
Back to the time of beauty
Before the shipyards
Foghorns
Oil spills
Steel
Back to the time of beauty
Before the shipyards
Foghorns
Oil spills
Steel
Alcohol
And unforgiveness
Scar my family
And unforgiveness
Scar my family
And alcohol
And unforgiveness
Scar me
With my history intact - the Lighthouse disappears
The man-made carved rocks
That mark the steps to the Lighthouse
Explode and violently sink into the water
The destruction follows the path
With my history intact - the Lighthouse disappears
The man-made carved rocks
That mark the steps to the Lighthouse
Explode and violently sink into the water
The destruction follows the path
That was set in motion
With the water pulling the rocks over the sand
The canal falls
The ships crumble
Moving back
Before the glass beads and tobacco tins
Of French fur trappers
Moving back
Before the glass beads and tobacco tins
Of French fur trappers
I am finally alone
Eagles, bears, turtles, cranes, foxes and martens
Surround
Supported by the wisdom and love
Of family and ancestors
The red dust is released
And forms a connectivity
To the sand and water
On the southern shores
Of Lake Superior
Surround
Supported by the wisdom and love
Of family and ancestors
The red dust is released
And forms a connectivity
To the sand and water
On the southern shores
Of Lake Superior
