I've written and rewritten this story many times.
It's been 15 years since my brother Scott died from AIDS
The more I work on this piece and perform it
the easier it is to talk about his life
Poets know what I mean when I say "I'm free from the paper"
This is simply a love story
one---my phone rings
and my mother's voice tells me that my brother is in the hospital.
two---I walk into a room and see a man.
My brother? Scott?
AIDS is clearly in the area he has that striking look they all seem
to have.
The nurses come and go.
The strong man who is my brother takes whatever they bring him.
three---days later. I'm there again at Regions Hospital
Scott is handing my mother money to make his car payment.
I must me in the wrong place.
four---
five---
six----It's evening I'm with him again. The nurses tell me that he can hear me
They ease back on the morphine
I sit and talk and ask him why.
He is without words.
I hold his hand, he squeezes back.
seven---It's late again. In the middle of the night the phone rings
and I'm told to go to Regions. I'm the first one there.
There is a sea of blue scrubs and machines in his room
I look into Dr Marini's eyes. I am seeking reassurance
as his deep dark brown eyes fill with tears.
we stand and looked at each other
I didn't know what to do
eight---
nine---
ten---From Scott's room, I look out the window into the darkness and
see my favorite photo of a very young boy.
He is standing with his back to me looking down at the grass.
I will never know what he was thinking or why he chose the path that he did.
eleven---
twelve--- I know it is time. More people are with me now and My mother and father have arrived
No words are spoken.
morning comes, the sun rises and the shift changes
Scott's doctor is in the room. As she looks around the room saying
I don't know any of you
she stops, points at me and says except you.
She is Kelsey's pulmonologist
thirteen---The last breaths are smoothe and gentle
deceitfully life giving.
fourteen---the day has arrived - hundreds of people gather
I hear great stories of his strength
the room is filled with laughter and music
people are surrounding me
hands are touching me
someone hands me photos
fifteen---My heart is filled and for a moment the divine is with me.
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