Fractures and splinters

My memories are clear - or are they?
Most of my memories of that time in my life are
fractured and splintered

life photos - filed away neatly in those dust proof boxes
safely tucked away in the recesses of my mind

fractured and splintered

I've been meaning to go down deep and open that box

fractured and splintered

I'll need to take a good long look at that box
Its been so long since I have seen it.
Do I remember what it looks like

Fractured and splintered

No - I stowed it away at a different time of my life
a time when photos of my life were taken
with out my knowledge or direct impact

fractured and splintered

That's no way to live my life
or keep my memories
What sparked those fractured and splintered memories

Its a question I have lived with
My friend - my tall friend with long flowing hair
and a laugh as gentle as the breeze

Those fractured and splintered snap shots of my memory
are slowly coming into focus.

I remember that she was the keeper of my stories, my tales
and all of my pain.

She provided me with the home that I needed to keep
those memories and stories from becoming fractured and splintered.

It wasn't enough for me
I couldn't see it
She was offering - - -
What was she offering

Shelter
Love
Safety
Friendship

It wasn't tangible

My life was fracturing - - NO I WAS -- fracturing and splintering
spinning and turning
Sometimes I wonder what happened 

As I begin my journey to the recesses of my mind
to that safe space - free from dust

fractures and splinters

That box that's been so carefully stored
kept free from dust
Its barely recognizable

fractured and splintered

Its not how I remembered it. Its covered in dust
I stare at it and wonder --- what happened

So safe it was in the recesses of my mind
free from dust
in that safe space

To put things in order 
the box must be opened
I reach deep and open it

The fractured and splintered photos of my life
lay in the box with a gust of wind
they fly free leaving the box

It becomes clear
The keeper of my stories and pain is gone
I let her go by not sharing with her what she gave to me

No longer fractured and splintered - the box is empty
and my vision is clear

She left to find a welcoming place to share her photos and keep
her stories from becoming - fractured and splintered

I used to wonder if she had lived a life

Now that the box is open and clear of fractures and splinters

Its clear to me that she lives